Living La Vida Stupid.

 I've always liked the name January for a girl. Maybe it's because I try to be a hipster and embrace bizarre ways of life, like playing the ukulele and watching HBO documentaries about homeless people. Whatever the reason, I love it, and if I ever end up have a daughter, that could be the name I end up choosing for her. This is one of the many things I think about during the day. I think a lot - being an only child will do that to you.

 So, HI WORLD. This is my blog. This is my story. But most likely the world is not reading this blog. Perhaps just a couple people who somehow miraculously found my page by google or some other mysterious means of discovery. I digress! (And I will do that often - my apologies in advance.)

 Let me introduce myself. My name is none of your business, I live in a neighborhood in a town in America, and I attend a very smelly public high school. I am obsessed with a band called The Beatles, have you heard of them? Also, when it comes to music, my favorite singers are Jason Mraz and Edith Piaf. Why, you ask, do you need to know that? The answer is, shut up. This is my blog and I can type whatever the hell I want. So HA. My family consists of four people:

1) Mother: She is very paranoid. Very. Paranoid. For example, if I drop my toothbrush in the bathroom and she hears it, she will demand to know if everything is okay as well as race over and check for herself.

2) Father (a.k.a. Dad, Pop, Big John): Though well beyond his youth and well beyond six feet tall, he has the mind of a fourteen-year-old boy. Says phrases like "fo shizzle" and "what's the dealio?" So basically any street lingo from the mouth of Snoop Dogg to Danny Zuko.

3) Madeline The Poodle (a.k.a. my DUMBASS dog): Don't let the cuteness lure you in; she is the devil. She yips her little puppy trap until three in the morning and tries to nibble on your toes whenever you are watching television on the couch.

4) Me (a.k.a. The Incredible Nothing): You should know enough about me by now.

 Okay, we are all set here. By the way, mother thinks I might be clinically depressed. That's why I'm headed off to go see a counselor right now (against my will!!) She probably thinks so because right now I am very bored, and my life seems an INCREDIBLE NOTHING. Will I find true happiness? Stay tuned, bitches.